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Finnish last names

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Many Finnish last names are funny (Mr Sling ass), gory (Mrs Fetus) or weird (Mr Nation's ditch). Some names are overly grand (Mr War power) or a bit naughty (Ms Good breast). What other country has had a prime minister called Mr Duck?

We Finns are so used to our names that their quality doesn't become apparent until they are translated to some other language. So here we go:

Finnish	English	Comment
Aatos	Mr Thought
Ahmanheimo	Mr Wolverine's tribe	There are many tribe names, but this is the only one I've included here.
Aikomus	Mr Intention
Aine	Mr Matter	Substance.
Aitamurto	Mr Fence breaking
Aito	Mr Genuine
Alapartanen	Mr Lower beard
Alhainen	Mr Low or Mr Devious	E.g. low in rank.
Alkio	Mrs Embryo
Ampuja	Mr Shooter	So now we know whodunnit.
Ansio	Mr Income or Mr Merit
Antti-Poika	Mr Antti-boy	Antti is a Finnish first name.
Arvio	Mrs Estimate
Asukas	Mrs Inhabitant
Autiosaari	Mr Deserted island
Auvo	Mr Bliss
Epäilys	Mrs Doubt
Erikoinen	Mr Peculiar
Eväs	Mr Box lunch	Or picnic lunch.
Haimala	Mr Pancreas
Happo	Mr Acid	Finnish word also sometimes means LSD.
Harja	Mr Brush	Like one used to sweep streets, not one used to paint pictures.
Haukipää	Mr Pike head
Hauska	Mr Amusing
Hauta	Mr Grave	Where people are buried, not as in grave situation.
Haveri	Mr Shipwreck
Heikkonen	Mr Weak
Heilala	Mr Girlfriend or Mr Boyfriend or Mr Pickup
Heitto	Mr Throw
Helle	Mr Heatwave
Herra	Mr Mister or Mr Lord or Mr Sir
Hiekkalinna	Mr Sand castle
Hikipää	Mrs Sweat head
Hillo	Mr Jam
Hiukkanen	Mrs Particle
Hiuspää	Mr Hair head
Home	Mr Mildew
Honkavero	Mr Pinetree tax
Horkka	Mr Malaria
Hourula	Mr Delirium
Humalainen	Mrs Drunk
Huopalainen	Mrs Felt
Hurmekoski	Mrs Gore rapids
Hurmerinta	Mrs Gore breast	Or Mrs Gore chest. There is a rather good soul singer by this name.
Huti	Mr Miss	As in to miss the target.
Huttunen	Mr Porridge
Hytti	Mr Cabin
Hyvärinta	Ms Good breast	Or Ms Good chest.
Häkämies	Mr Carbon monoxide man
Härkäpää	Mr Ox head
Ihanainen	Mrs Lovely
Ihanaranta	Mr Lovely Beach
Iho	Mr Skin
Ilmavalta	Mr Air power
Ilmiö	Mr Phenomenon
Ilmiökorpi	Mr Phenomenon forest
Ilo	Mr Joy
Impinen	Ms Virgin
Inha	Mr Disgusting
Into	Mr Enthusiasm
Isoherranen	Mr Big shot	Often meant in a bit derogatory way.
Iso-Keisari	Mr Big-emperor
Isokääntö	Mr Big heist	In slang anyway, otherwise Mr Big turn.
Isomaa	Mr Big country
Jakaus	Mr Parting	Area in hair where the hair is divided into two directions.
Jakku	Mrs Jacket
Jalo	Mr Noble
Jalokivi	Mr Jewel
Jannula	Mr Dude	Slang.
Jatkovirta	Mrs Continued current	E.g. current of electricity or water.
Joenpolvi	Mrs River's knee	Polvi is an old word that means a bend in the river.
Joenväärä	Mr River's wrong	Same as above.
Johdanto	Mr Prelude or Mr Introduction	Introduction to a subject, not as when introducing people.
Johtonen	Mr Wire
Jokipii	Mr River-silicon
Jokipuro	Mr River brook	So which is it?
Jormanainen	Mrs Dickwoman	Jorma is a male name, and has the same slang meaning as Dick.
Julmala	Mr Cruel
Jumppanen	Mr Exercise
Juote	Mr Solder
Juppi	Mr Yuppie
Jyrkkä	Mrs Steep
Jänis	Mr Rabbit
Jänne	Mr Tendon
Jänönen	Mr Bunny
Jäykkä	Mr Stiff
Jäätie	Mr Ice road
Kaarto	Mr Curve	Flanking movement.
Kahva	Mr Handle	The kind on doors, luggage etc.
Kaiho	Mr Longing
Kaiku	Mr Echo
Kainomaa	Mrs Shy land	Or coy, modest, timid, bashful, demure.
Kakkinen	Mr Turd	Or Mr Poop.
Kaksonen	Mr Twin
Kaljunen	Mr Bald
Kallis	Mr Expensive
Kallo	Mrs Skull
Kammonen	Mr Phobia
Kamu	Mr Pal
Kanala	Mrs Henhouse
Kanki	Mr Shaft
Kankkunen	Mr Hangover	In slang.
Kansanoja	Mr Nation's ditch
Kansi	Mr Lid
Karja	Mrs Cattle
Karkaus	Mr Escape
Karmanloitsu	Mrs Karma's spell
Kartio	Mr Cone
Karumaa	Mrs Barren land
Kassi	Mr Bag
Kaukomaa	Mr Far away land
Kaunismaa	Mr Beautiful land
Kauriinvaha	Mr Deer's wax
Keilamaa	Mr Bowling pin land
Keisari	Mr Emperor
Kelahaara	Mr Reel groin
Keskikukko	Mr Middle rooster
Keskivaari	Mrs Middle grandfather
Kihlakaski	Mr and Mrs Burnt land of engagement
Kiimala	Ms Heat	As in when cats are in heat.
Kiri	Mr Spurt
Kirjatankki	Mr Book tank	Finnish word tankki has the same two meanings as the word tank.
Kirjavainen	Ms Multi-coloured
Kitula	?	I can't translate this, because kitu is a prefix. It refers to things like torture, slow death and diminished growth.
Kokko	Mrs Bonfire
Kolari	Mrs Road accident
Kolistaja	Mr Banger
Kolmio	Mrs Triangle
Kompa	Mr Trick question	Mr Who and He-man fought. Who won.
Konkari	Mr Experienced
Kontti	Mr Trunk	Boot of motor car.
Konttori	Mrs Office
Kopio	Mrs Copy
Koriseva	Ms Stertorous or Ms Gargling	There is a singer by this name. I'm not entirely sure if this name is Finnish.
Koskeva	Mr Touching	Literally touching, one that touches something with hand.
Kotva	Mrs Jiffy	A moment.
Koulumies	Mr Schoolman
Kova	Mr Hard
Kuitula	Mr Fiber
Kuiva	Mr Dry
Kuivalahti	Mr Dry bay
Kujantaka	Mr Back of the alley
Kukkaro	Mr Coin purse
Kukkuva	Mr Cockooing	One that cockoos.
Kultalinna	Mr Gold castle
Kultti	Mr Cult
Kunnaton	Mr Without municipality
Kuntola	Mr Fitness
Kuonanoja	Mr Slag's ditch
Kuoppamäki	Mr Hole hill
Kuopus	Mr Last-born
Kurasto	Mr Mud collection
Kurila	Mr Discipline
Kurjanen	Mrs Miserable
Kurkipää	Mr Crane head
Kurvi	Mr Curve
Kuuhimo	Mrs Moonlust
Kuula-Niskanen	Ms Bullet-Neck
Kuuluvainen	Mr Audible
Kuva	Ms Picture
Kykylä	Mr Ability
Kylmämetsä	Mrs Cold forest
Kylmäsuu	Mrs Cold mouth
Kynsijärvi	Mrs Nail lake	Nail like the horny covering on tips of fingers.
Känninen	Mrs Drunk
Kärkäs	Mr Eager
Käräjäoja	Mr Court ditch	Court of law.
Käyrä	Mr Bent
Laakeristo	Mr Bearings or Mr Laurel garden	As in ball bearing.
Laatu	Ms Quality	I had a blind date with her.
Lahonen	Mr Rot
Lainpelto	Mr Law's field
Lapio	Mr Shovel
Lappo	Mrs Siphon
Laturi	Mr Dynamo
Latvala	Mrs Treetop
Lastuvuori	Mr Chip mountain
Laukka	Mr Gallop
Laulumaa	Mr Songland
Lautakatto	Mr Plank roof
Lavaste	Mr Set	Like a set for shooting a movie.
Lehtiö	Ms Notepad
Leija	Mr Kite
Leini	Mr Fibrositis
Lempeä	Mr Gentle
Lempinen	Mr Love
Lento	Mr Flight
Lepo	Mr Rest	Period of resting.
Leskinen	Mr Widow
Levy	Mrs Record or Mrs Board	A music record.
Levä	Mrs Algae
Leväaho	Mr Algae field
Liedenpohja	Mr Stove's bottom
Liehu	Mr Twirl
Liete	Mrs Sludge or Mrs Liquid manure
Lihavainen	Mrs Obese
Liikamaa	Mr Excess land
Liimatta	Mr Without glue
Linkoperä	Mr Sling ass	Sling as in a strap used to throw small projectile.
Lisko	Mr Lizard
Liukas	Mr Slippery
Lohko	Mr Segment
Loikkanen	Mr Leap
Loiske	Mr Splash
Loiva	Mrs Gentle slope
Loma	Mr Vacation
Loppukaarre	Mr Rest of the curve
Loukko	Mr Cranny or Mr Hellhole
Luisto	Mr Slide
Lukinmaa	Mr Harvestman's land	A.k.a. Phalangid.
Lukumies	Mr Reading man	Or Mr Bookworm.
Lumo	Mrs Enchantment
Lunki	Mr Relaxed	At least in slang or in some dialects.
Lunnas	Mr Ransom
Lunttila	Mr Cheat note
Luomi	Mr Mole	Abnormality on skin.
Luoti	Mr Bullet
Luova	Mr Creative
Lupala	Mr Permission
Luukannel	Mr Bone kannel	Kannel is a traditional Finnish instrument, somewhat like koto in Japan.
Luuri	Mr Handset	Handset of a phone.
Lyhykäinen	Mr Shorty
Lysti	Ms Fun
Löytöläinen	Mr Foundling
Maakala	Mr Landfish	What would that be?
Maaninen	Mr Manic
Maho	Mrs Barren	Especially of cows that cannot have offspring.
Maine	Ms Reputation
Mainio	Mr Excellent
Manner	Mr Continent	As in Europe, Africa etc.
Matomaa	Mr Worm soil
Matsi	Mr Match	Sport event, fight etc.
Melamies	Mr Paddleman	In Finland anyway this would be understood as someone well equipped.
Mestari	Ms Master
Metelinen	Mr Noise
Miina	Mrs Mine	Like a landmine etc.
Moskajärvi	Mr Trash lake
Motti	Mr Encirclement or Mr Cubic meter of wood	Encirclement as in the military maneuver.
Muona	Mrs Provision
Muotiala	Ms Fashion industry
Muro	Mr Breakfast cereal
Murremäki	Mr Dialect hill
Murto	Mr Break-in
Mustapää	Mr Blackhead	A black-topped pimple. Also literally black head.
Mutta	Mr But
Muuttomaa	Mr Migratory land
Myrskyranta	Mr Storm beach
Myöhänen	Mr Late	Don't hire him.
Märkälä	Ms Wet
Mättö	Mr Playing heavy-rock very loud	In slang. Originally "the shoving of stuff onto a pile".
Möykky	Mrs Lump
Naapuri	Mr Neighbour
Naisniemi	Mr Female cape
Nakkinen	Mr Frankfurter or Mr Wiener	A sausage the size of a finger.
Nalli	Mr Detonator
Narikka	Mr Hanger-room	In night clubs. Originally narikka meant a market place for second-hand clothes. Comes from a Russian word "to the market place".
Naukkarinen	Mr Sipper	One who repeatedly drinks small mouthfuls of alcohol.
Naulapää	Mr Nailhead	Chief of Finnish police goes by that name. Having a nail in the head is a Finnish slang expression for being drunk.
Neitola	Miss Maiden
Nelimarkka	Mr Four marks	Mark was the currency unit in Finland before euro. Four marks equal 67 cents.
Nenonen	Mr Small nose
Neste	Mr Liquid	Noun, not adjective.
Neuvo	Mrs Advice
Nietostie	Mr Snowbank road
Niitti	Mr Rivet
Nikama	Mr Vertebra
Niukkanen	Mrs Scarce
Nivus	Mr Groin
Nokka	Mr Beak
Noppa	Mr Dice
Nuija	Mr Club	A stick used for weapon. In slang the word means stupid.
Nuorivuori	Mr Young mountain
Nurkka	Mr Corner	Interior corner. There is a separate word for exterior corner.
Näkyvä	Mr Visible
Nätti	Mrs Pretty
Nöyränen	Mrs Humble
Oiva	Mr Excellent
Ontto	Mr Hollow
Opas	Ms Guide
Orava	Mrs Squirrel
Orjala	Mrs Slave
Orpo	Mr Orphan
Ottavainen	Mr Eager to take	Possibly eager to drink alcohol.
Paasto	Mr Fast	As in abstaining from food.
Pakaste	Mrs Frozen food
Pakola	Mr Escape
Paksujalka	Ms Fat leg
Paksunen	Mr Obese
Pallonen	Mr Ball
Palo	Mr Burn
Palojoki	Mr Fire river
Palojärvi	Mr Fire lake
Paloniemi	Mr Fire cape
Pantti	Mr Deposit	Object left to pawnshop as security for payment. By the way, "panttivanki" means hostage ("vanki" = prisoner).
Papinoja	Mr Priest's ditch
Parta	Mr Beard
Partio	Mrs Patrol
Parvi	Mrs Balcony or Mrs Flock
Patja	Mrs Mattress
Passi	Mrs Passport	Passi is also the location where a policeman or a hunter stands in guard.
Patteri	Ms Battery
Paukku	Mr Bang	Fictional character by this name was hugely popular in an early 90's tv-series. He was a self-made man and a "godfather" in Finnish politics.
Pelkonen	Ms Fear	She hosts a tv-show about video games.
Perheenmies	Mr Family man
Perinne	Ms Tradition
Pesu	Ms Wash
Pienihäkkinen	Mr Smallcaged
Pienimaa	Mr Small country
Piilo	Mr Hiding place
Pilkottu	Mr Chopped	...in pieces.
Pilkka	Mr Ridicule or Mr Target
Pimiä	Mr Dim	The name has the same two meanings as the translation: dark and stupid.
Pinta	Mr Surface
Piukka	Mr Tight
Poikkeus	Ms Exception
Poka	Mr Frame or Mr Arrested or Mr Trick	Trick as in prostitute's client.
Pokka	Mrs Poker face
Polo	Mr Poor or Mr Unfortunate	As in "poor doggy".
Pomppu	Mr Bounce
Pore	Mr Bubble	Especially the hiss in soft drinks when the bottle is opened.
Poskiparta	Mr Sideburn
Pottala	Mr Chamber-pot
Pouta	Mr No rain
Pukki	Mr Goat	The word is also a slang expression for a womanizer.
Pulla	Ms Coffee bread
Pullola	Ms Bottle
Pulska	Mr Obese
Pumminen	Mr Bum	One who begs for money, but also one who doesn't pay for a tram ticket or does anything on someone elses expence.
Puntti	Mr Trouser leg or Mr Weight	A small weight used in a scale.
Puolimatka	Mr Half-way
Puoskari	Mrs Quack	One who pretends to have medical skills.
Purkamo	Mr Dismantler's workshop
Purkantie	Ms Bubblegum's road
Pusu	Mr Smack	Or Mr Snog.
Putki	Ms Pipe
Putkisto	Mr Plumbing
Puujalka	Ms Wooden leg
Puukko	Mr Knife
Pyhänniska	Ms Nape of the neck of a holy
Pykälä	Mr Clause or Mr Notch
Pysäys	Mr Stop
Pyörre	Mr Whirl
Päivänsäde	Mr Sunshine	The word is used to mean "babyface".
Pälvi	Mr Bare spot	Especially in hair, but also e.g. where snow has melted.
Pöhö	Mr Tumefaction	Bloated, swollen, esp. in context of edema.
Pönkkä	Mrs Buttress
Raami	Mr Frame
Raaste	Mrs Grated vegetable
Raikas	Mrs Fresh	Like someone right out of shower.
Raippalinna	Mr Whip-castle
Raita	Mr Stripe or Mr Goat willow	Goat willow is a type of tree.
Raitis	Mr Teetotaler
Raivo	Mr Rage
Rajatora	Mrs Border dispute	She works for some television company. I've seen her name many times in the credits.
Raju	Ms Fierce
Rakkola	Mrs Bladder
Rampa	Mrs Cripple
Rankka	Mr Tough	Typically of life, work and action heros.
Rantatulkkila	Mr Beach interpreter
Rapa	Mr Mud
Rappu	Mr Stairs
Rassi	Mr Pipe brush
Ratas	Mr Gear	Toothed wheel.
Rauha	Ms Peace
Rauhanen	Ms Gland
Raunio	Mr Ruin	Wrecked building.
Rautaparta	Mr Iron beard
Rautarinta	Mrs Iron breast	Or Mrs Iron chest.
Reimari	Mr Spar-buoy
Reipas	Mr Brisk	Word is often used to praise young children for being helpful, or being brave in some unpleasant task e.g. taking a vaccination.
Reitti	Mr Route
Rekki	Mr Horizontal bar	In gymnastics.
Rentola	Mr Relaxed
Riemunen	Mr Joy
Riento	Ms Activity	Especially leisure activies, dancing etc.
Riepula	Mrs Rag
Riitala	Mr Argument	Heated debate.
Rikka	Mr Piece of litter
Rikkilä	Mr Broken or Mr Sulphur
Rinta-Korkeamäki	Mrs Breast-High hill
Rinta-Opas	Ms Breast-Guide
Rinta-Piirto	Mr Breast-Draw
Rinta-Runsala	Mrs Breast-Ample
Riski	Mr Risk or Mr Sturdy
Rokka	Mr Pea soup
Romu	Mr Junk	Usually of equipment, cars etc.
Runonen	Mr Poem
Runsas	Mr Ample
Ruokanen	Mrs Food
Ruoskanen	Mr Whip
Rusto	Mr Cartilage or Mr Gristle
Ruuti	Mrs Gunpowder
Ryhti	Ms Posture
Rysä	Mr Fyke net
Rämä	Mr Busted	In poor condition.
Röyhkiö	Mr Insolent
Saarto	Mr Embargo
Saarijärvi	Mr Island lake
Saastamoinen	Mr Filthy
Sademies	Mr Rainman
Sakki	Mr Posse
Sakko	Mr Fine	As in when you are fined for speeding.
Sana	Mrs Word
Sappinen	Mrs Gall
Sarja	Mr Series
Satopää	Mr Crop head
Savinainen	Mrs Clay woman
Sievä	Mr Pretty
Sikiö	Mrs Fetus
Silppula	Mr Confetti
Simanainen	Mrs Mead woman
Simontaival	Mr Simo's journey	Simo is a Finnish first name.
Siniaalto	Mr Sine wave	Literally blue wave but also sine wave.
Siniteräs	Mr Blue steel
Sinko	Mrs Bazooka
Sireeni	Ms Siren
Sirolinna	Ms Slender castle	Not the kind you'll be wanting to fend off enemies in, eh?
Soitinaho	Mr Instrument field	Musical instrument.
Soiva	Mr Ringing	Or Mr Playing. One that makes a (musical) sound.
Sokka	Mrs Pin	Like a pin in a handgranade.
Sokko	Mr Blind
Solmio	Ms Necktie
Solmu	Ms Knot
Sorto	Mrs Oppression
Sotamaa	Mr War country
Sotarauta	Mr War iron
Sotavalta	Mr War power
Sotku	Mr Mess	An untidy state of things. Sotku also means military eating quarters, just like mess, but this is known to be a coincidence.
Soukka	Mr Narrow
Sukkala	Mr Sock
Sukkela	Mr Witty
Sukupolvi	Ms Generation
Sula	Mr Molten
Sulo	Mr Beauty
Summa	Mrs Total amount	Or indeed, sum.
Surma-Aho	Mr Death field
Suullinen	Mr Mouthful	Or Mr Equipped with mouth.
Suuripää	Mr Big head
Suviyö	Mr Summer night
Synkkänen	Mr Gloomy
Syväperä	Mrs Deep aft
Särö	Mr Crack	Like in a vase.
Sävel	Mr Tune
Sääski	Mr Mosquito
Säävuori	Ms Weather mountain
Taisto	Mrs Battle
Taitonen	Mr Skill
Takakarhu	Mr Bear behind	Bear that is behind something.
Takki	Mr Coat
Takkula	Mr Snarl	Tangle, especially in hair.
Talonpoika	Ms Peasant
Tarkka	Ms Accurate	E.g. tarkka-ampuja is a sharpshooter.
Tasapää	Mr Flathead
Tasku	Mr Pocket
Tehola	Mr Capacity
Teini	Ms Teenager
Tekokoski	Mr Artificial rapids
Tenho	Mr Charm
Tervahartiala	Mr Tar shoulders
Teräsniska	Mr Iron nape of the neck
Teräspää	Mr Iron head
Terävä	Ms Sharp
Tienari	Mr Earner
Tietäväinen	Ms Knowing
Tiili	Mr Tile
Tiirikka	Mr Lockpick
Tikkari	Mr Lollipop
Tikki	Mr Stitch or Mr Trick	Stitch like the doctors sew on skin. Trick like a point earned in a card game.
Tila	Mr Space or Mr Farm or Mr State	Space as in architecture. State as in state of things.
Tiukka	Mr Tight
Toiskallio	Ms Other rock	A large rock, one that you could climb on.
Tomula	Mrs Dusty household
Tontti	Mr Plot	Piece of land allotted for a building.
Torala	Mr Quarrel
Torvi	Mr Horn	Horn the instrument, not the appendage on deer's head. In slang torvi also means a stupid person.
Toveri	Mr Comrade
Tuhola	Mr Destruction
Tuhti	Mr Sturdy
Tuimala	Mr Saltless or Mr Angry	Saltless in eastern dialect. I'll have to check, but this may actually mean salty in western dialects. Imagine the culinary confusions!
Tukeva	Mr Hefty
Tukiainen	Mr Subsidy
Tuliainen	Mr House-warming gift	Or a gift brought when going to visit someone's home even if it's not a house-warming party.
Tulikoura	Mrs Firehand
Tulkki	Ms Interpreter
Tullila	Mr Customs or Mr Toll
Tulokas	Mr Newcomer
Tulonen	Mr Small income	Admittedly a bit far-fetched translation.
Tulppala	Mr Plug
Tumppila	Mr Cigarette butt
Tuomari	Mrs Judge
Tuonela	Mr Land of the dead	In Finnish mythology.
Tuoppi	Mr Tankard	A large mug for beer.
Turhala	Mr Useless
Turma	Mr Accident
Turta	Ms Numb
Turva	Mr Safety
Tuttavainen	Mr Acquaintance
Tutti	Mr Pacifier	A dummy for babies to suck.
Tuuri	Mrs Luck
Tuutti	Mr Ice cream cone or Mr Cornet
Typpi	Mr Nitrogen
Tyyni	Ms Calm
Tärkki	Mr Starch
Töyssy	Mr Bump	In road.
Uljas	Ms Valiant
Ullakonoja	Mr Attic's ditch	Sounds like water damage.
Unho	Mr Oblivion
Ura	Mr Career Or Mr Groove	Groove as in a small channel cut to material.
Urho	Mr Hero
Uusipaasto	Mr New fast	As in abstaining from food. I guess the first time round didn't do the trick.
Uusipaikka	Mr New place
Uusipää	Mr New head
Vaahto	Mr Foam
Vaakanainen	Mrs Scale woman	Scale, the weighing-instrument.
Vaali	Ms Election
Vahalinna	Mr Wax castle
Vahvaselkä	Mrs Strong back
Vaihevuori	Ms Phase mountain	It's been at it for the past million years and now it's ready for the next step.
Vainonen	Mrs Persecution
Vainula	Mr Trace or Mr Scent	Of bloodhounds when they find the track. More generally just sense of smell or instinct.
Vaisto	Mrs Instinct
Vaje	Ms Deficit
Vakio	Ms Standard or Ms Usual or Ms Regular or Ms Constant	Constant as in mathematics.
Vala	Mr Oath
Valio	Mr Elite	Crème de la crème. Pick of the bunch.
Valorinta	Ms Light breast	Or Ms Light chest. Light as in the optical phenomenon.
Valpas	Mr Vigilant
Valtimo	Mrs Artery
Vammavaara	Mr Danger of injury or Mr Injury hill	There are many names containing the word vaara. Vaara means "danger", so it would provide me with lots of material, since the danger of this or that common thing is often funny. I've chosen not to use these names, because in names vaara means a tree-covered hill in Lapland. This one however was too good to pass.
Vanha	Ms Old
Vankka	Mr Firm	Of solid structure.
Vapaa	Mrs Free
Vara	Mr Reserve or Mr Asset
Varakas	Ms Wealthy
Varma	Mr Sure
Varovaara	Mr Beware of danger or Mr Beware hill	See Vammavaara above.
Vartija	Ms Guard
Vartti	Ms Quarter
Varvas	Ms Toe
Vasenkari	Ms Left underwater rock	Left as in opposite of right. The kind of rock that ships wreck on.
Vauhkonen	Mr Restive	Of horses when they are agitated.
Vaurio	Ms Damage
Vedenjuoksu	Ms Water's running
Velho	Mr Sorcerer
Ventti	Mr Blackjack or Mr Beat	Blackjack the card game. Beat as in extremely tired.
Veripää	Ms Blood head
Veromaa	Ms Tax land
Vertainen	Ms Equal or Ms Peer
Vesihiisi	Mr Water devil	A particular kind of monster in Finnish mythology. You might be challenged to repeat this children's poem very fast: "Vesihiisi sihisi hississä", vesihiisi hissed in the elevator.
Vieno	Ms Delicate
Vieraankivi	Mr Stranger's stone
Vihinen	Mr Hint
Vihko	Mr Notebook
Viholainen	Ms Enemy
Viinijoki	Ms Wine river
Viisas	Ms Wise
Vikkelä	Mr Nimble
Vilkas	Mr Lively
Vilkkula	Mrs Blink	Flashing light.
Villikko	Ms Wild girl	Untamed young woman.
Vinkki	Ms Hint
Vireä	Mr Alert	Adjective.
Virkanen	Mr Post	A job in a public office.
Virusmäki	Mr Virus hill
Voima	Ms Power
Voitto	Mr Victory
Vuoto	Ms Leak
Vuotovesi	Mr Leak water
Väistö	Mr Dodge	Noun. Quick movement to avoid being hit.
Väkevä	Mr Strong or Mr Undiluted
Väljä	Mr Loose	E.g. of clothing.
Väärä	Mr Wrong	Watch out, women.
Yksoksa	Ms One branch	Branch of a tree.
Ylhäinen	Ms Aristocrat
Yliherne	Mr Super pea or Mr Over pea	Über pea.
Ylihoikka	Mr Overslim
Ylipaasto	Mr Overfast	Fast as in abstaining from food.
Ylipaino	Mr Overweight	Noun, not adjective.
Ylkänen	Mr Bridegroom
Yltävä	Mr Reaching	One that is able to reach.
Yrttimaa	Mr Herb garden
Ähkynen	Mr Colic or Mr Bloated	In street language condition of having eaten too much and consequently being hardly able to breathe.
Älli	Mr Wit

This collection of translations is copyright Teppo Pihlajamäki 2002-2003. Copyright laws protect also translations and lists such as this one. You can't copy any major portion of this list to your own work. Fair use and quoting is however allowed. I won't contest your interpretation of copyright laws if you quote no more than twenty-four translations of your choice, and include either a hyperlink to this page, or print its address, https://teppo.tv/names/

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Air guitar world championships
Mobile phone throwing world championships
Wife carrying world championships
Swamp soccer world championships
Kick-sled world championships
Snowball fight competition
Mosquito killing championships

About the translations

I don't claim to be any kind of authority in this field. I'm just somebody who had a phone directory and too much spare time.

A dozen or so of the translations are not historically correct, rather, they are what the words represent to modern-day Finns. Meanings of some old names have long since been forgotten. Names persisted even if the words got new, funny meanings. It is then these funny meanings I've given here. Some translations apply only if we use the word's meaning in Finnish slang, although I've tried to minimise the amount of these.

Many Finnish names end in -nen or -la. -la and -lä mean house or place. In old Finnish -nen meant small. It was also used to mean things like cute, insignificant or childish. Therefore Virta is "stream", Virtanen is "small stream", and Virtala is "house called stream" or "place of stream". I've ignored the endings in my translations, unless they are required for the name to be funny. Luckily often all three forms exist, and I've just used the bare form.

If you don't believe the names are real, make a quick search on the internet. Most names should produce several hits. There are real people who carry these names every day. Next time you meet a Finn, ask what his name stands for. If he says he doesn't know, or it's just a name, you should be suspicious...

The Mr and Mrs etc. are there so that the reader will not forget that the names belong to real people. Otherwise after reading a while they would become just words and stop being funny. I usually used the the titulation of the first person of a particular name on the phonebook, but not always.

There is a fitting Finnish proverb: Name doesn't spoil a man, but a man can spoil a name.

My whole name, Jari Teppo Pihlajamäki, breaks down as follows:

Jari - soldier with a helmet (originally Jalmari <- hjalmar <- hjälmare)
Teppo - ancient Finnish god of the road
Pihlaja - rowan
mäki - hill

"Tepponen" by the way is a trick played on someone.